Three kinds of Love
Dr.Maqsood Jafri
New York. U.S.A

I received the column of Ms. Rubina Faisal , a Pakistani columnist based at Toronto, Canada. Her column on love is a universal appeal to the dead and slumbered hearts. I am very much impressed, moved and motivated by her ideas on human love. As a poet I have nothing to preach but love in this world of hatred. I discard all religious, ethnic, racial and national prejudices and give the clarion call for love and humanity. Her column is the voice of a passionate soul seeking intense selfless love. I find deep feelings and contending conviction for human values in her column. Her writings have a mission and that mission is the awakening of slumbered souls and imbibing in them the spirit of honesty and pure passions.

So for as love is concerned, the love between mother and children is reposed in the recesses of their hearts by the hand of providence. There are so many kinds of love. The love for your country, religion, nature, music, poetry, politics, wealth, power, women and beauty. The list  of love is numberless. let me cite a joke related to one of my friends in Rawalpindi, Pakistan. It is a pleasantry illustration, not an anecdote. A friend of mine who happened to be a clergyman, once in the company of a few common chums boastfully declared that he was writing a book on the subject of love. He said there are  fifty two kinds of love which he was planning to elaborate in his up coming book. I took liberty of my friendly relations with him and retorted: " Have you ever loved any lady." He blushed and shied. He hesitated and haggled. He said:" It is not good to discuss the love of ladies publicly." I said:" is it a sin or crime to love." He said: "No". I said then why are you ashamed of confession. He desired to switch over to some other topic. I said;" Look gentleman, you are a priest and I am a poet. What I say I mean it and what say you do not mean it." I proposed him to read the Torah and find the love stories of so many prophets. The story of their loved wives and concubines as well. Particularly the story of prophet Jacob.  It is narrated in Genesis in The Old Testament. When prophet Isaac died, his son prophet Jacob on the advice of her mother Rebeka left the town and took refuge in the house of his maternal uncle Laban. The elder brother of Jacob had turned against him for certain family feuds. Jacob fell in love with the daughter of Laban named Rachel and served for fourteen years there just to marry his beloved. Prophet Moses also spent fourteen years serving prophet Shoaib and then his daughter was married to him." On hearing this my mullah friend got annoyed and said I was insulting the prophets. I told him that the passion of love is natural and human. The prophets were human beings and had instinct and intuition.

Here, in the light of the column of Rubina Faisal, I would like to briefly comment. She has mentioned a man known to her who lost his beloved and kept on adoring her image. She inferred that pure love is eternal and keeps one up to face the pangs of separation. One finds hope of life in love. It is optimistic approach. There are no two opinions about the truth and sublimity of pure love. It is the crown and cream of life. love in Life and life in Love is the best policy. I support this maxim and stand by it.  About this self less love for a sweet heart, a  great Poet of Iran Hafiz Sherazi had said: " You can find flaw in the foundation of every edifice but no fault you can find in the foundation of love."  But we must differentiate between the love of a mother for the son, the love of a sister for the brother, the love of a husband for the wife and the love of a lover for the beloved. So far as the relation between a lover and the beloved is concerned, there are three kinds of love.The first kind is known as Platonic Love. It has been derived from the philosophy of great Greek philosopher Plato. It means imaginative love. The love of souls. You like a girl from the core of your heart. You may achieve her or not but your soul is permanently involved. Plato calls it selfless pure love. It is one sided love. You love a person but do not expect positive response from the other side. Majority of the poets fall in this category. It is the love of souls and not of bodies. The second type of love is called Byronic love. It is derived from the concept of British poet Lord Byron. He believed in sexual love. He was of the opinion that sex is a natural desire and drive found in all creatures. The man and woman both desire sexual pleasure. Byron was the exponent of Sigmund Freud who propounded the natural need and instinct of sex to be the driving force of all human activities. Byron believed sexual pleasures to be the best pleasures given to humans by nature. He believed that we must do sex with our beloved and enjoy it. He did not believe in the pangs of separation. He was of the opinion that if a lady is not willing to have love or sex with you shun her and find some other lady of your compatibility and taste. So he is known as a brave and practical lover. This is the modern trend in love.  The majority of our modern culture is Byronic. They do not wait and weep. They are pleasure seekers. They are hedonistic and pragmatic. They say the woman is not created for adoration but for love and love means sexual pleasure. We should worship God and not the woman. D.H. Lawrence at a place writes that through sexual intercourse he finds God. He regards sexual cohabitation as the source of spiritual elevation. Both, man and woman need sexual pleasures, then why the women feel shy in the matters of sex?  The third love concept is Tennysonian. Poet Tennyson believed in the love of soul and body alike. He was of the opinion that man and woman posses both soul and body. The love of souls that negates the love of body and the love of body that negates the love of soul are half loves. One must love the other in whole, not in parts. Tennyson, in one of his poems says that blessed are the couples who love each other deeply and get united. They win the heaven on the earth.

I am of the opinion that the love of bodies with out the love of souls is prostitution. Only the sluts, whores, harlots and womanizers do it. The love of souls with out bodily relations a psychological ailment. It is a fantasy, phobia and idealism. I appreciate the modest and moderate concept of love propounded by Tennyson. I must mention here that in Hinduism and Christianity sex has been made a relic. The Hindus worship the sexual organ.  in earlier days when the husband died , the wife was forced to be burned alive with he dead body of the husband. This custom shows that the woman had no saying or entity in the olden traditional Hindu culture. She was slave and subservient to man. Now with the passage on time sex is not one way but two way traffic. The ladies express their choice and feelings. They are equal partners in sex. If you loved some person but could not get her/him, it does not mean you should  commit suicide or become a hermit. Modern Psychology tells us that humans have likes and dislikes. If you do not get response of your love, do not get depressed or frustrated. With the advancement of culture and education, the mind sets have changed. Love is reciprocal. Suppose you love a girl but she does not love you. She has different ideals, priorities, problems and tastes. If you keep on weeping, you are bound to loose life or mind. Being a Platonic or pure lover, keep on loving her but find a compatible person who also loves you. One way traffic never pays. One should never cheat people in love. It is a sin. It is a crime. It is an evil. Human relations must be fair. The net result of all this discussion is that the love of the souls is the true and permanent love and if such couples marry or unite, in the words of poet Tennyson, they get heaven on the earth.