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Three kinds of Love
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Dr.Maqsood Jafri
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New York. U.S.A
I received the
column of Ms. Rubina Faisal , a Pakistani
columnist based at Toronto, Canada.
Her column on love is a
universal appeal to the dead and slumbered hearts. I am very much impressed,
moved and motivated by her ideas on human love. As a poet I have nothing to
preach but love in this world of hatred. I discard all religious, ethnic, racial
and national prejudices and give the clarion call for love and humanity. Her
column is the voice of a passionate soul seeking intense selfless love. I find
deep feelings and contending conviction for human values in her column. Her
writings have a mission and that mission is the awakening of slumbered souls and
imbibing in them the spirit of honesty and pure passions.
So for as love
is concerned, the love between mother and children is reposed in the recesses of
their hearts by the hand of providence. There are so many kinds of love. The
love for your country, religion, nature, music, poetry, politics, wealth, power,
women and beauty. The list of love is numberless. let me cite a joke related to
one of my friends in Rawalpindi, Pakistan. It is a pleasantry illustration, not
an anecdote. A friend of mine who happened to be a clergyman, once in the
company of a few common chums boastfully declared that he was writing a book on
the subject of love. He said there are fifty two kinds of love which he was
planning to elaborate in his up coming book. I took liberty of my friendly
relations with him and retorted: " Have you ever loved any lady." He blushed and
shied. He hesitated and haggled. He said:" It is not good to discuss the love of
ladies publicly." I said:" is it a sin or crime to love." He said: "No". I said
then why are you ashamed of confession. He desired to switch over to some other
topic. I said;" Look gentleman, you are a priest and I am a poet. What I say I
mean it and what say you do not mean it." I proposed him to read the Torah and
find the love stories of so many prophets. The story of their loved wives and
concubines as well. Particularly the story of prophet Jacob. It is narrated in
Genesis in The Old Testament. When prophet Isaac died, his son prophet Jacob on
the advice of her mother Rebeka left the town and took refuge in the house of
his maternal uncle Laban. The elder brother of Jacob had turned against him for
certain family feuds. Jacob fell in love with the daughter of Laban named Rachel
and served for fourteen years there just to marry his beloved. Prophet Moses
also spent fourteen years serving prophet Shoaib and then his daughter was
married to him." On hearing this my mullah friend got annoyed and said I was
insulting the prophets. I told him that the passion of love is natural and
human. The prophets were human beings and had instinct and intuition.
Here, in the
light of the column of Rubina Faisal, I would like to briefly comment. She
has mentioned a man known to her who lost his beloved and kept on adoring her
image. She inferred that pure love is eternal and keeps one up to face the pangs
of separation. One finds hope of life in love. It is optimistic approach. There
are no two opinions about the truth and sublimity of pure love. It is the crown
and cream of life. love in Life and life in Love is the best policy. I support
this maxim and stand by it. About this self less love for a sweet heart, a
great Poet of Iran Hafiz Sherazi had said: " You can find flaw in the
foundation of every edifice but no fault you can find in the foundation of
love." But we must differentiate between the love of a mother for the son, the
love of a sister for the brother, the love of a husband for the wife and the
love of a lover for the beloved. So far as the relation between a lover and the
beloved is concerned, there are three kinds of love.The first kind is known as
Platonic Love. It has been derived from the philosophy of great Greek
philosopher Plato. It means imaginative love. The love of souls. You like a girl
from the core of your heart. You may achieve her or not but your soul is
permanently involved. Plato calls it selfless pure love. It is one sided love.
You love a person but do not expect positive response from the other side.
Majority of the poets fall in this category. It is the love of souls and not of
bodies. The second type of love is called Byronic love. It is derived from the
concept of British poet Lord Byron. He believed in sexual love. He was of the
opinion that sex is a natural desire and drive found in all creatures. The man
and woman both desire sexual pleasure. Byron was the exponent of Sigmund
Freud who propounded the natural need and instinct of sex to be the driving
force of all human activities. Byron believed sexual pleasures to be the best
pleasures given to humans by nature. He believed that we must do sex with our
beloved and enjoy it. He did not believe in the pangs of separation. He was of
the opinion that if a lady is not willing to have love or sex with you shun her
and find some other lady of your compatibility and taste. So he is known as a
brave and practical lover. This is the modern trend in love. The majority of
our modern culture is Byronic. They do not wait and weep. They are pleasure
seekers. They are hedonistic and pragmatic. They say the woman is not created
for adoration but for love and love means sexual pleasure. We should worship God
and not the woman. D.H. Lawrence at a place writes that through sexual
intercourse he finds God. He regards sexual cohabitation as the source of
spiritual elevation. Both, man and woman need sexual pleasures, then why the
women feel shy in the matters of sex? The third love concept is Tennysonian.
Poet Tennyson believed in the love of soul and body alike. He was of the opinion
that man and woman posses both soul and body. The love of souls that negates the
love of body and the love of body that negates the love of soul are half loves.
One must love the other in whole, not in parts. Tennyson, in one of his poems
says that blessed are the couples who love each other deeply and get united.
They win the heaven on the earth.
I am of the
opinion that the love of bodies with out the love of souls is prostitution. Only
the sluts, whores, harlots and womanizers do it. The love of souls with out
bodily relations a psychological ailment. It is a fantasy, phobia and idealism.
I appreciate the modest and moderate concept of love propounded by Tennyson. I
must mention here that in Hinduism and Christianity sex has been made a relic.
The Hindus worship the sexual organ. in earlier days when the husband died ,
the wife was forced to be burned alive with he dead body of the husband. This
custom shows that the woman had no saying or entity in the olden traditional
Hindu culture. She was slave and subservient to man. Now with the passage on
time sex is not one way but two way traffic. The ladies express their choice and
feelings. They are equal partners in sex. If you loved some person but could not
get her/him, it does not mean you should commit suicide or become a hermit.
Modern Psychology tells us that humans have likes and dislikes. If you do not
get response of your love, do not get depressed or frustrated. With the
advancement of culture and education, the mind sets have changed. Love is
reciprocal. Suppose you love a girl but she does not love you. She has different
ideals, priorities, problems and tastes. If you keep on weeping, you are bound
to loose life or mind. Being a Platonic or pure lover, keep on loving her but
find a compatible person who also loves you. One way traffic never pays. One
should never cheat people in love. It is a sin. It is a crime. It is an evil.
Human relations must be fair. The net result of all this discussion is that the
love of the souls is the true and permanent love and if such couples marry or
unite, in the words of poet Tennyson, they get heaven on the earth. |
